Nerves

Ugh.

I'd forgotten just how nervous I used to be.

All. The. Time.

This is absurd. But I'm ridiculously nervous.

Dr. McBaby is supposed to call sometime in the next 3 hours. They don't tell an exact time just give a three hour window...which is worse because I'm sure it'll be three hours before he calls so I get to be nervous until then!

I don't really have anything to worry about. But my anxiety is so high. I can't eat. I put Lauren down for her nap and am hoping he will call while she's asleep just because I know she'll be a handful if he calls when she's awake!

And then I get emotional and think to myself, "What a beautiful problem to have!".

So I have a list of questions...

1) Why do you think my AMH levels went up? Does it really mean anything?

Edited from after our conversation: He said it didn't mean anything really. Well, he said it probably meant I was getting younger and younger! Ha! But seriously, he didn't think it was significant at all. Variations in labs possibly (though it was the same lab...). But if it had gone way down that would have been cause for concern but basically he considered there to be no change. 

2) I'm really a numbers girl. What are our chances of another successful IVF based on what we know from our last cycle and our latest test results?

He quoted about 40%. Obviously, he doesn't know how its all going to go down. But if he had to put a number on it based on everything he'd put it at 40% for a successful pregnancy.

3) Do you ever see a significant difference in egg quality when a patient has been taking French Pine Bark?

He said there are no studies on it BUT that he really believes in it. He cannot prove a thing but knows it won't hurt and he has seen cases where there was a significant improvement....was it the French Pine Bark or total coincidence? He'll never know!

4) And how reliable do you think the Sperm DNA fragmentation test is that we took right after our first IVF? Could there still be a sperm problem even if the traditional SA and the DNA frag test didn't pick up on one?

And I didn't ask this!!! Why? Because I didn't write down my questions. Because oh, I only have 4 questions...I won't need help remembering....

I'll ask next week when I see him!

We took a sperm DNA frag test after we learned that all our embryos were poor quality (well we did have one rated "fair" and two "poor" but none of the others even made it that far, the other 7 had completely quit growing). Dr. McBaby originally thought it was probably a sperm problem because of when the decline happened. Day 3 almost every single emrbyo looked fine. Day 5 was a totally different story and this is typically due to sperm issues. Bryan's SA's had always been excellent and we honestly thought our first IVF was going to be a failure so we decided to do this test ASAP because we didn't want to have to wait too long to do another IVF. But the DNA frag test came back better than excellent. And Dr. McBaby said then it was most definitely my eggs to blame.

Ouch.

But I'd like to pick his brain on the test a bit more. Bryan was a moderate smoker for our first IVF. This time around he has quit for a few months with the help of Chantix and Wellbutrin and he's now taking French Pine Bark too. But I'm just curious to know if he thinks there might be just the slightest chance that the DNA frag test was somehow inaccurate or maybe there's just still more that they don't know about and maybe just maybe it was his sperm and since he's healthier it might all be better this time.

I know most of my questions aren't going to have definite answers. But I like opinions. I like information.

I'll try and update after we chat. That way I'll have a fresh record of what we discussed.