I spent the 3 hours on the road to Dr. McBaby's office feeling sentimental, nostalgic, and even a wee bit giddy. Of course the way back, I was just ready to be home! But the last time I traveled that road was to pick up our embabies on transfer day. We left the clinic and traveled back, feeling sad, worried, let down, broken.
All of my test results had shown both of us to be healthy with no reason to suggest we wouldn't have excellent quality embryos. But it was on this day that we were sat down by the embryologist and Dr. McBaby and told that 7 of our embryos had completely quit growing and the 3 remaining didn't look too good but they were hopeful. The thing is all I remember was my heart being ripped from my chest yet again. They were hopeful but not really all that optimistic. They highly encouraged us to transfer all three remaining embryos, something we had originally been told wasn't even an option. They "never" transfer more than two.
We drove home so defeated.
Of course we know how incredible our story turned out to be. Lauren is here. Our miracle.
The fluid ultrasound was uneventful which is GOOD. No issues at all were seen.
And since he was already all up in there I asked which ovary was doing the ovulating this month. I mean, we might as well give it one last go if we can, right?
But of course, it is the right ovary, where I have no tube whatsoever.
Not surprising. I'm still convinced the left side only pops one out every 6 months or so. I know its not scientific as I base it solely off of the ovulation cramps. I seem to get the cramps on the right side and the few times I've had a confirmed left side ovulation I feel little to no cramps. And that happens every 4-6 cycles....so bah humbug.
But I also know that my left tube is crappy anyway...so it probably doesn't matter.
I met with Marge and got my birth control prescription that I'll start with my next period in a couple weeks.
And I got my calendar!
My protocol is exactly the same as last time which is reassuring...calming even, in a way. I guess just because I've been there, done that.
Then Marge suddenly turned to me and said, "I will never forget the day I had to call you and tell you your betas were not doing what they were supposed to be doing.".
And I smiled and then cried.
At 9dp5dt my beta came back at a respectable 64. But 5 full days later they were only 91. We had to wait 5 days because of a holiday weekend since I was getting my betas done locally. And with that it was over. We all assumed they'd risen initially but by the time we checked them again they were back on their way down. She said we would recheck again in 2 days. It was understood we were looking for them to go back down. She told me to call if I had any bleeding. I mean, seriously, we knew it was over.
Instead 2 days later she got to call me with good news.
200.
At 5 weeks.
They'd doubled for sure but they were still so low for FIVE weeks!
Marge told me excitedly they'd doubled and I was in such shock I didn't understand. I kept saying, "But what does that mean?".
She kept saying, "Katie. This IS good news."! Over and over.
She said she's never gotten to make a phone call like that before.
My miracle.
We did one more beta at 5w2d and they came back around 500.
We did our first ultrasound a week later and saw our sweet baby with a healthy heartbeat. And a tiny sac where another little peanut had tried so hard to grow. The explanation for the wonky betas.
And I'm crying again.
What a rollercoaster!
And what a sense of peace I have having my sweet baby girl!
So...my calendar. I expect to start BCPs in just about 2 weeks. I should be ovulating tomorrow-ish. And my period should start 12-14 days later. My cycles were a little wonky while breastfeeding and this is my first cycle not breastfeeding at all so I'm not too sure how long my luteal phase is anymore. It varied from 3 days to 14 days while breastfeeding.
But I expect to start BCPs on the 3rd day of my period, so maybe around 2/23.
February 23- March 17: BCP
March 18-March 22: BCP & Lupron 10units
March 23- March 28: Lupron 5 units
March 26: Expect a Period, Baseline U/S and E2
March 29: Lupron 5 units, dexamethasone 0.75mg
March 30- April 1: Lupron 5units, dexamethasone 0.75mg, Gonal-F 300 units
April 2- April 5: Lupron 5 units, dexamethasone 0.75mg, Gonal-F 75units, Menopur 1 vial
April 6: Lupron 5 units, dexamethasone 0.75mg, Ultrasound and E2 and await further instructions!
AND....so I've reread what I've written a couple time and geez! This anonymous thing is HARD. I used my real name, my child's real name and the name of my doctor! Of course I have since changed it but I didn't think I'd slip up so often! Oh well....
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